Cosmic Horror – Dark Comedy – Suburban Satire

In Whispering Oaks, property values are everything.

Every lawn must be exactly 2.85 inches high. Every house must look the same. Every homeowner must follow the rules—or face fines, liens, and worse.

David Anderson has spent years perfecting the art of suburban conformity. His lawn is flawless, his spreadsheets are immaculate, and his life is finally under control.

There is just one problem.

His lawn isn't real.

Beneath the perfect synthetic grass lies crushed limestone, plastic roots, and a secret David will do anything to protect. But when black, freezing sludge begins bubbling up through his artificial turf, he discovers that Whispering Oaks has a much darker problem than an HOA inspection.

People who fall behind on their dues don't simply lose their homes.

They disappear.

And something ancient is feeding beneath the community swimming pool.

As the HOA prepares for its most important celebration of the year, David is forced into an unlikely alliance with Brenda Shaw, the punk botanist whose "overgrown" yard may be the only thing keeping the nightmare underground. Together, they uncover a forty-year-old occult conspiracy involving forbidden wetlands, biological sacrifices, a monstrous HOA president—and a silent golden retriever who may not be a dog at all.

Now David has eleven days to save his lawn, his neighbors, and possibly the entire subdivision.

Because when the final inspection begins, the HOA won't be checking property values.

It will be collecting collateral.

Cthulhu on the Cul-de-Sac is a darkly hilarious cosmic horror novel blending Lovecraftian horror, body horror, suburban satire, weird fiction, occult horror, and absurdist dark comedy into one wildly entertaining suburban nightmare.