Aphrodite has been the goddess of love for three thousand years. Obviously, she knows more about dating than you do.

At least, that's what Aphrodite believes when she begins investigating the baffling state of modern romance.

Dating apps. Attachment styles. Love languages. Red flags. Green flags. Situationships. Ghosting. Compatibility tests. Rules about when to text, how much to text, and what your texting habits apparently reveal about your childhood.

Mortals have turned finding someone attractive into an entire industry.

Aphrodite has concerns.

In Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, Gods Are from Olympus, the goddess of love, beauty, pleasure, and desire works her way through modern dating and relationship advice, comparing the latest theories against three thousand years of firsthand experience watching people fall desperately, irrationally, gloriously in love.

She examines attraction and chemistry. Dating apps and first dates. Standards and dealbreakers. Red flags and attachment styles. Communication, love languages, jealousy, commitment, and situationships. Then come ghosting, breakups, heartbreak, and the eternal question of whether getting back together is ever actually a good idea.

Each subject receives Aphrodite's Verdict: the official ruling of the divine authority on love.

Unfortunately, each verdict also requires a Conflict of Interest Disclosure.

And Aphrodite has considerably more conflicts of interest than anticipated.

Because the deeper she gets into the research, the harder it becomes to ignore her own romantic history—and the possibility that being exceptionally good at making people want each other isn't quite the same thing as knowing what happens afterward.

What begins as a supremely confident goddess correcting mortal dating advice gradually becomes something Aphrodite never intended to write: an examination of her own assumptions about attraction, intimacy, vulnerability, and love.

After all, desire can tell you that you want someone.

But what does it mean to actually know them?