We Are Never Buying a Vacation Home

A Mack Hollister Comedy Novel

Frank and Carol Delaney have made a decision.

A firm decision.

A sensible decision.

They are never buying a vacation home.

They're only looking.

Then they take a wrong turn through the seaside town of Gull Point and discover an aging cottage with peeling paint, a questionable basement smell, a spectacular ocean view—and a price low enough to make two otherwise sensible retirees temporarily forget everything they know about real estate.

Two days later, they own it.

That's when the relaxing part ends.

Before Frank can unpack his toolbox, he's dealing with a leaking roof, mysterious plumbing, a deck that moves when it shouldn't, an opinionated homeowners association, a neighbor who considers property lines a personal suggestion, and a raccoon who appears to believe he came with the house.

Carol has one rule:

Do not turn the vacation home into another project.

Frank agrees completely.

Then he makes a list.

Soon the O'Malley's crew arrives to "help," contractors begin delivering estimates that require deep breathing, rental guests show up expecting amenities nobody promised, and a developer starts quietly buying property around Gull Point.

Just when Frank and Carol think they have finally gotten the cottage under control, a coastal storm reminds everyone that Mother Nature does not read renovation schedules.

Through repair disasters, neighborhood feuds, surprise expenses, association meetings, property disputes, unexpected friendships, and one increasingly confident raccoon, Frank begins to understand something he never expected:

The little money pit by the ocean may have become home.

We Are Never Buying a Vacation Home is a warm, laugh-out-loud comedy about retirement, marriage, homeownership, neighbors, second chances, and the spectacular optimism that convinces otherwise intelligent people that a fixer-upper near the beach is somehow a good idea.

Perfect for readers who enjoy older protagonists, marriage humor, quirky neighbors, small-town comedy, home-renovation disasters, and feel-good fiction with plenty of heart behind the laughs.

Written by Mack Hollister, author of The Worst Retirement Plan Ever, The HOA Has Lost Its Mind, Definitely Not a Bed & Breakfast, We Accidentally Bought a Food Truck, Please Don't Elect Me Mayor, and The Cruise Was Supposed to Be Relaxing.

Published by North Watch House Publishing.