Five breakfast items. One very serious morning. Nobody makes it to lunch.

Meet Agent Spam — mysterious, mustached, and fostered in the Scottish Highlands by two well-meaning bottles of ketchup. Meet Private Eggs — a deeply confident egg who insists he's "free range" and has never once, to anyone's knowledge, left Yorkshire. Add a cockney slice of toast with anger issues, an American bottle of brown sauce with a grudge against his own cousin, and one quietly furious pat of butter who has had enough of being forgotten.

Spam and Eggs: A Very Serious Morning is a darkly funny, deadpan illustrated tale about routine, denial, and the food chain — told with the straight-faced absurdity of a bloke down the pub who swears every word of it is true.

It probably isn't